Integration
This tale is told in the memory of those who have endured half-assed corporate mergers. Your pain is seen, and your tears are not forgotten
Once upon a time, there were two organisations.
One of them was a mighty steed, strong of body, lean of leg.
The other, a narwhal, sleek and swift, with a great horn to strike down its foes.
Behold! Cried the managers.
We shall integrate these magnificent beasts!
They shall be strong! They shall be swift! Fierce of eye, and mightily armed!
Truly they shall be a unicorn!
And the wizards looked at the task before them and saw it was great.
To merge two such mighty beasts was no small task; one must merge them flawlessly, carefully connecting nerve and sinew, carving bone that it might hold its new muscles.
And the wizards went to the managers and said “we have a plan. It is a good plan, and in only two years, we shall have perfectly merged these two beasts, and our creation shall run fleet and nimble through the plains, driving all before it”
“Two years?” cried the managers “That’s far too slow. See here; let us connect them like this, and that! And they’re merged, d’you see”.
And the wizards looked on what was wrought. And they wept.
Art credit: Tallulah Cunningham